Eats: Joyce Jiaozi

When reviewing restaurants I find myself at times thinking about topics that for most wouldn’t be considered “appropriate”, but are more interesting than the general back and forth of every day conversation. Instead of relating only the usual topics of service, quality and value in a restaurant review, I will relate issues such as the state of affairs in the restaurant’s restrooms and the general hotness of the serving staff alongside the more “PC” attributes. My first blog report is for Joyce Jiaozi. (5103 JOYCE ST)

If you told me that Joyce Jiaozi was the birthplace of the Chinese Communist Party within Canada, I would not be surprised. Having lived in Northern China for a number of years, it is that kind of authenticity we are talking about. I mean if I put the waitress in a full nelson I’m fairly certain I’d find an unkempt mess of hair under her arms, (a common occurrence in China)...truly authentic, in every aspect. Authenticity goes for the food as well as the waitstaff, and if you haven’t tried the regional cuisine of Northern China this should be your first stop in rectifying that omission. Dishes like fried pancake and steamed dumplings should not be missed. Portion sizes are ample, and the prices more than reasonable. The owners and operators are extremely friendly but ordering in mandarin sends up alarms, “be careful” the owner said in mandarin, “the big white one understands Chinese” , which might infer that in the past other whiteys have been the butt of a few jokes, unbeknownst to them. As far as staff hotness is concerned, I can only assume that this joint is family run, so if you have a granny fetish, your in luck. The bathroom went unused during this visit, but I’m fairly certain given the authenticity of the food a squatter waited behind the small wooden door. So if your into multitasking, say practising your catcher stance while relieving yourself, head over to Joyce Jiaozi and let me know if my suspicions are correct.

S.